COMMUNICATION: Is it ever easy?

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.

George Bernard Shaw

Almost every instance in daily life throws up the treacherous threads of communication. Words, it would seem, be they spoken or written offer possibilities from the comic down to the simply frustrating  and time-wasting. And occasionally, tragic.

This week amidst the endless flurry over that mind-numbing, twisting, whirlpool of disagreement currently known as the ‘Brexit negotiations’  we’re offered a peerless  illustration of the difficulties we humans have in communication with one another.  Difficult enough to get agreement on anything amongst twenty-seven British people (think Parliament!) never mind dealing with twenty-seven culturally diverse countries.  Add to that, some have more than one official language.  Add again, because others have a further a twenty-six minor,  but nevertheless recognised, possible regional variations.  Arggggg!

You don’t need to be a genius to see that the business of translating every weighty, wordy document – from or into  English – could provide a new perspective on that well known phrase, ‘lost in translation.’ Or perhaps not just lost but seriously confused.

Recently, I’ve been trying in my Pilates lessons to  improve the quality of my breathing.  You might think that was easy enough and yes, after twenty years of doing Pilates, that would seem a doddle.  A few days ago my amazing and very patient teacher and I hit a language problem.  I needed to hear those simple words, ‘breath in, breath out’.  Or ‘inhale, exhale’. Not ‘inspire, soufflez.’ For some reason, even as a tolerably fluent French speaker, ‘soufflez’ sent me into a form of physical dyslexia.

I did know what it meant but somehow my brain and body refused to connect.  Later, a quick trawl in the giant Collins Robert, revealed translation of the verb ‘souffler’ occupies a column of  forty-three lines. No wonder my mind went wandering.  And ‘expirer’ translates in just four! Communication clarified – from now on it’s ‘inspire, expire!’

Incidents of difficulties in communication can pop up on a daily basis. Take the simple, or so you’d think, matter of asking directions, assuming your GPS has gone into meltdown or already  tried to lead you up several ‘No entry’ streets.    The first response you’re likely to encounter is ‘Sorry, I’m a stranger here myself.’ But even if your human guide is trying to help you find your way to that elusive street or motorway, chances of accurately understanding and following the directions are  about as slim as keeping your hat on in a hurricane.  In my experience, this tends to happen in whatever town, country, or language the answer is given!

But directions apart,  there are all those everyday snippets of dialogue where you’re certain you’ve been understood but you soon realise you have not.

‘We need to go – are you ready?’ ‘

‘You said ten-thirty.’

‘No, nine-thirty.’

‘Sure you said ten thirty.’

‘ That’s when the train leaves. We leave at nine-thirty. I did say.’

‘But I’m not rea…’ And so on and so forth.

These kind of misunderstandings are just the beginning.  Worse by far, than shifting timetables or confusing directions, are the unspokenmisinterpretations. The emotional disturbances that can be created by something as simple as not seeing, hearing or understanding.  None of us are mind readers – yet. Although if the techie giants have their way, and algorithms rule,  there might even now  be a device lurking in some piece of software that will reveal every passing nuance.

Most of us have probably  said or done something, quite innocently, only to learn much, much later that we’ve caused serious offence.  How can you know, for instance, if you compliment someone admiringly who’s obviously lost weight, on how great they’re looking,  they’ll interpret it quite differently?  Or if you simply fail to hear what someone has said, they considered themselves ignored?  Or you didn’t see the friend across the street waving to you, and they felt shunned?  Argggg!

But worst of all, is if you suspect – subsequently – you might have  unintentionally said or done the wrong thing, attempt to apologise and find out exactly where the error was, but  possibly end up getting the playground response, ‘If you don’t know, I’m not going to tell you!’

Then there are certain words.  Words that are  so charged for some people that no matter how they’re said or written, they’ll be trouble! In a radio play I wrote years ago, the heroine in a moment of great anguish, told someone to ‘Fuck off.’  Deep in the BBC hierarchy of the day, the suggested amendment was ‘Bugger off.’  And that was the subsequent broadcast version.  To this day, I ‘ve never been certain why one should be considered less rude or offensive than the other!   Less in the eye and more in the ear of the beholder, perhaps.

Whatever expression you use, or the words that spring out of your mouth, one thing is certain.  It’s the look in your eyes and the tone of your voice that gives the words their intention, their power and their real meaning.

Finally, I’m feeling profound sympathy for all those hard-working interpreters, bending their brains to legal documents that are allegedly the way out of a Union that, whatever imperfections it might have, seems a great deal better than any of the possible alternatives!  Have we reached a new level of misunderstanding, misinterpreting and mistrusting one another?  Let’s hope not.

Perhaps the writer Ken Liu is correct to say, ‘Every act of communication is a miracle of translation!’